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QUOTES
ON FIREWORKS
"You can look up at the stars and every night they're going
to be in the same place, but you can launch a six inch shell and you don't
really know what it's going to look like until it actually performs."
- James Sousa
"We anoint their fuses with a tiny amount of
fire, and they come alive, playing out their life span in a matter or
seconds. In those few seconds a crack in the universe is opened, giving us
a glimpse of the energy locked within all matter."
-Bob Weaver
"I often use the word "joy" when
describing fireworks. It is a considered word, deliberate in choice.
Not just amusement, entertainment, astonishment, but joy. Our art makes us
all into children again for a while. We become one in our experience for
the moment; lost in the sound and color and light. We see large forces, stronger
than we could ever be, yet beautiful in their effects. Sometimes violent,
sometimes restrained. Delicate beyond imagination at times, coarse and
rude at others."
-Bill Withrow
"Colin! Is this legal?"
-Mom, questioning my firework show (she asks this an
average of 12,000 times on the 4th of July)
"You know, one of these days you're going to get
arrested."
-Dad's typical response to fireworks
"What the hell was that?!"
Dad's typical response to a report or erratic-flying
bottle rocket.
"Kaylie! Duck!....I'm serious!"
-Kari O, upon watching me light a cluster of artillery shells
and fearing for her daughter's life...
"Fireworks? Isn't that some religion where you feast
on owls and other nocturnal birds?"
-Sam T. (obviously not playing with a full deck...)
"It's all common sense, but unfortunately common sense
isn't all that common."
-a Fire Marshall, on the safe use of fireworks
NON-FIREWORKS QUOTES
MOVIES
"Scott, I've been a frickin' evil doctor for 30 frickin'
years.....so cut me some frickin' slack. You forget, Scott, that we're
inside a volcano....we're surrounded by liquid hot magma."
-Dr. Evil
"Mini-me, you hungry? Would you like something to
eat? Not even a hot pocket? An Eggo? No, no, we don't gnaw on
our kitty...leave Mini-NO, leave Mini-Mr. Bigglesworth alone...just love him,
stroke him."
-Dr. Evil
"It's what the French call a certain................I don't
know what..."
-Dr. Evil
"Mini-me!...Stop humping the laser! Honest to God,
why don't you and the giant laser get a frickin' room for God's sake..."
-Dr. Evils
TV
"I think we should get a machine gun!
We can use it to hunt game, spell out things, and ring in the New Year!"
-Bart Simpson
"Marge, If I die, promise me you'll do one
thing..."
"Anything, Homie..."
"Blow up the hospital"
-Homer Simpson
"Marge, where do we keep those metal
dealies...you know....that you use to dig.....food."
-Homer Simpson, looking for a spoon
"It will be just like David and Goliath, only this time,
David wins!"
-Homer Simpson, describing a competition
"Here's my sandbox...I'm not allowed to go in the deep
end. And that's where I saw the leprechaun...he told me to burn
things!"
-Ralph Wiggum
SCHOOL AND FRIENDS
"No I'm not!"
-Mr. Johnson [English], in response to my comment on what
a "nice guy" he is
"My wife bought a whole case of that stuff
for Y2K....I told her if something DID go wrong, she could eat it, but I'd
rather starve..."
-Mr. Leinart [Biology], commenting on Spam
"Hey! We didn't buy tin foil so you
could play G.I. Joe."
-Mr. Leinart, demanding that Phil remove his aluminum foil
hat during an experiment
"Repeat after me.....eins...zwei...drei...vier...fünf...sechs...NO!
Not "sex"....sechs! Geez, what are you guys thinking?"
-Herr Grantham [German], teaching the class how to count
"The Force? What's that?"
-Elizabeth M.
"Who's George Lucas?"
-Elizabeth M.
"George Lucas is a GOD...Tolkien was just a writer."
-Quint C.
"It's the early bird that gets the worm, but
it's the second mouse that gets the cheese."
-Quint C.
" 'God did it' is not a valid scientific theory."
Phil W.
"Can we smoke marijuana?"
-Phil W, suggesting an activity for the bored biology class
MISC.
"It's like Canada...but without the
f******-up money!"
-Sam T, about Port Angeles